Believing in yourself is one thing..

We always need to believe in ourselves. It is so important to have faith in your own actions, to have faith in yourself and the strength of your beliefs. But sometimes, people share their feelings about you without outrightly saying anything in particular.
This afternoon I was at lunch in the dining hall with a few friends, and my friend Curtis said "Katie, can I come to your wedding?" I said, "Of course, Curtis."
This sparked a thought in my head. Curtis believes that I will get married one day and get what I want out of life. He has no doubt in his mind that I will end up with someone that I love and we will get married. And this strengthens my own faith in myself that I already had.
For now, I know deep down that I need to hold true to what I believe, relationship wise. What I need will come to me when I need it. And he will appreciate what I've done with my life thus far, just as I do.
Always remember to be proud of yourself, but not too proud. It is 100% okay to do stupid things if you want to. One thing I know for certain is that I will never do anything that I don't want to. Every decision is my own. That's one of the most important things for me. As for now, I need to get back to studying for finals for my first semester at college. Crazy how this time is already here, but I am ready to go home and spend time with my family. I miss them like crazy.

I love you, and I'm proud of you.
Say this to others, but most importantly, say this to yourself.

We Return to this Program Already in Progress...

Hello all, hope your Monday evenings are treating you well. Thought I would tune you all in to my current life. I'm glad that at this point I'm keeping my promise, post wise. I need to have an outlet like this to release all of my current thoughts. Although this blog post may be keeping me from working on a research paper, I think it's time well spent.

Today was class registration for my second semester of college. Damn, that came quickly, huh?! I'm officially registered for a 17 credit semester. Yipee! Shouldn't be too difficult, right? Yeah, uhh, we'll see about that. I'm nervous but growing more and more excited for winter break, which comes first of course. Should be a good time.

As for today, I've been feeling kind of melancholy. Your teenage years and early twenties are supposed to be the best time of your life, and here I am on a Monday night writing a blog post and craving peanut butter Oreos. Story of my life.

Still alone over here. No boy toy, boyfriend, or any of the possibilities. That's fine for now, I guess. But when will it be my turn? I guess nobody really knows the answer to that question until it happens for them. I'll let you know when I get there. Maybe I'll even show him my blog. My boyfriend will have to appreciate my intelligence in order to love me properly. Any less will be his loss. Heehee.

Alright, I guess that's all for now. 7 days until I go home for Thanksgiving! Hip hip hooray!

Until next time

Well, Here I Am

Hey, blog. Last time we spoke I was still college bound. Now look at me, I'm a fully assimilated college freshman (sophomore according to my credits.) It wasn't easy to be as happy as I am right now. In fact, right now I should be studying for my art history exam, but for me, procrastination breeds creativity. So, I decided to write, or, type.

So lets see, when I first got here, I hated it. People were running wild and trying to shove their personalities in everyone's faces. It was embarrassing, really. I was scared of my roommate because she's different than me. I was lonely, even though I had friends. I was missing my family like crazy. I wanted nothing more to be home and wondered if I had even made the right choice by going away to college.

Flash forward about 2 months or so.. I am so extremely happy and thrilled to be here everyday. I love the freedom. Its all about me! I make all my own choices and its really liberating, honestly. I don't call my mom every day. Hell, we barely text. Of course I miss her, but we have separate lives now. She's focused on my brothers, and I'm focused on getting my shit done and having a good time. And I'm doing it.

Being a college student means something different for everyone. There's nobody exactly like me, but there are more similar people than there were at home. Its so cool. I get to decide who I want to be, what I want to do. If that means get my homework done and then have a mixed alcoholic beverage on a monday night in my dorm, I can do that. Its awesome.

I have great friends, and I'm making more every day. One thing thats a little iffy is the boy situation. I'm not a one night stand type of girls, and I feel like a lot of the sexual contact here is like that. That's the kind of thing you can't decide, unfortunately. (when you want to be in a relationship.) Deep down I know that right now can't be the right time for me to have a guy in my life, otherwise I would have one. Although it would be pretty nice to have someone to just hang out with and watch movies and hold hands. It'll come one day.

Well, I thought this blog could use an update, so I gave it to you. I like reading my old posts, it shows the person I was then and I can even tell how I've changed mentally. This semester is almost over, which is crazy. But I will try my hardest to write more posts for anyone who would like to read them. I'm hoping they can be a bit helpful.

"learn a little, give in, and love it"

A Summer in Photos

I've been having an absolutely amazing summer. It started in Florida, with my cousin Sam. We had an amazing time at Sea World, Disney, and basically just taking over Orlando with our crazy antics. Next it was off to Canada! A two night trip to see my queen Beyonce, with the best cousins I could ask for. It doesn't hurt that the drinking age is 18! I had an absolutely amazing time. There's only 9 days until I move in at college. And I could not be more excited.

Its late at night

And I'm about to spew some bullshit quickly. I've come to realize recently that young life is not only about getting drunk all the time, its not about making all the stupid decisions you can in the shortest period of time. Its about finding yourself, finding whats important to you. Nobody is allowed to judge you based on what you find important, whether it be religion, morals, schoolwork, or anything else.

Every dog has their day. And one day I will look back at these fleeting moments as the complete waste of energy that they are. And the complete morons I'm surrounded with? They'll all just be a distant memory. They all need to get the fuck out of my life in order to make room for all new friends.

Life update: Next week is my college orientation! My roommate Rachel already attended hers this week and she had an absolute blast!! I'm so looking forward to it

"I pray that we are regretless" - Jamie Woon
I will be without regret, without disappointment, and without sadness or distance. I will put every piece of me out there for the world to take. Love me or hate me, I'm still going to stick to what I see as right. No matter how heavy the pressure becomes.

Rum loses its thrill after the 2nd day in a row of drinking it.

"I've got my whole damn life, caught up entirely in moments of yours."

Not anymore!!

Graduating Seniors

Wow, the day has finally come. In 9 days I will be an officially graduate of high school. The thought of it is absolutely insane to me! My last days of school were awesome. I got to give out the yearbooks I had worked so hard on, and get them signed by all the great friends I made in high school. I will forever remember this specific moment: as the bell was about to sound marking the end of 9th period, the end of my last day of high school, I looked down a familiar hallway to see the face of my youngest brother, Sean, poking out. I could remember all the last days of school past, being more excited to leave those classrooms than anyone could imagine. But now in this moment, being the last time that I would leave the scheduled class, I saw how quickly the time had truly passed. 

The way I think of it, there is a time and place for everything in our lives. My time in High School has passed, but that does not mean that there are not better and more exciting things to come. All in all, I'm happy. I loved every single minute of High School and wouldn't change a thing. And that's that. :) 

I Always Do This!

I always leave my blog hanging! Ah, I'm so sorry guys. I've been SO busy with school. This past month has been crunch time for me, Preparing for AP's and keeping my grades up. However, all of that is done now, and I only have two weeks left of school! So insane.
As for exciting life moments, I have chosen where I am going to college! I'm going to SUNY New Paltz, and I couldn't be more excited! I was skeptical about the school being that its a state university, but I really do love the campus and the surrounding area. I went on an accepted student's day and toured the classrooms, dining hall, and dorms and fell in love. I got that "feeling" that everyone talks about when you know that this is the place for you. You feel welcome and you can see yourself walking to class, going to eat, and doing just about everything else! It's a great feeling and it was an immediate weight off of my shoulders.
I was a little caught up in the high and mighty "I'm going to a private school" thing, but New Paltz is everything that I need in a school. The price is right, the campus is gorgeous, and it has everything I need to get the best education for my major that I can. I can't tell you how excited I am to move into this next phase of my life.
However, now we're approaching my final days of high school. On one hand, I can't wait for the summer.. but on the other hand, I have 14 days left of school. 126 more class periods. That's a REALLY small number. And it's going to go by so quickly. I'll write about my last day when it comes. I can't believe how soon it really is.

That's all for now, I'll talk to you guys next time.
Katie

Style Diary: Seeing Stripes

Inspired by my friend Amber who is starting a fashion blog, I decided that I will post style diaries now on this blog! My style is casual with a bit of edge. Hope you enjoy. I love this striped top! It's so versatile and a subtle way to incorporate the stripe trend. My denim vest is a definite staple in my wardrobe also. It goes great with everything. And of course I had to wear my high tops. They are quickly becoming my favorite shoes.

Vest: Forever 21

Striped Top: Forever 21

Pants: Pac Sun

Shoes: Converse

Ring: Forever 21

Why Stress?

Life seems to drag on, yet when we look back it, it feels like it was yesterday. I've been feeling that way about a lot of things lately. Even opening up my blog, the last time I've posted was January 31st. Say what? I even got a request from someone to post on this blog. So here I am.

So, what's new? Well, as for school, it sucks. Everything is a challenge for me lately. It's become even more of a hassle to do schoolwork or study for tests. I'm very indifferent towards it.

Financial aid packages have been arriving, one after another. Oh, and also I got into Drexel! Very excited about that one. I plan on visiting during my spring break. Anyway, it seems that the schools that I don't really want to go to are giving me the most money. It always works that way, doesn't it? But I don't want to settle for mediocre. Not that Quinnipiac on a dean's scholarship is mediocre. It just feels that way to me. I don't see how this decision will be made within the next month and a half. May 1st and deposits are due. Well, that came quickly didn't it?

Feeling melancholy about several things, I broke down crying this week to my mother. I am so ridiculously concerned with colleges.. Worrying about the money is driving me nuts. My mom made it all better. She reassured me that loans aren't the worst things to have, and I want so badly to believe her.  So now Northeastern is back in my head. If loans aren't the worst thing, then how bad could $200,000 be on your credit? Okay I'm making myself feel worse.

Since I've seen you guys last, I turned 18! I had a lovely birthday and spent it with my friends and family. My best friend Abby treated me to a manicure and pedicure, it was so sweet. And I got a car! It's nothing crazy, but it's perfect for me! A 2000 Honda Accord, in an ever changing color. If you saw it, you'd know what I meant.

There's something great about this blog. It's 11:37 pm right now and my mind is settled. Putting all of my ongoing thoughts into words makes it seem not so big anymore. There are obstacles. I'm going to face them head on. There are decisions. I'm going to make them. It's all going to be alright in the end.
Thanks for reading.

Comment if you like reading my stuff!! :)

Monotony

Every day isn't the same. Or is it? Lately I've been feeling very condensed. I'm not even sure if that a word that one should use while describing feelings. But thats party how I feel. I'm lonely, I'm bored. I feel creatively suppressed. I want to express myself in so many ways. I want to dress with style, I want to play an instrument, I want to paint, I want to take pictures. And yet I have less than no time to do anything at all.. and I'm just sick of it. I'm so stressed out. I can't deal with this feeling for much longer.

alone

waiting for the right thing

to come along

and yet, satisfied

knowing that I must wait

to find out what's out there

"There's so many bigger things out there, and that makes me both happy and sad. Happy because I'm going to discover it. Sad because I haven't discovered it yet."

Up in the gym just workin' on my fitness

Hey everyone! So my last post was about how I want to implement a healthier lifestyle. And I have begun my progress! I registered for the nearest Lucille Roberts gym near me! Its a very nice facility and cheap at only $16 a month. So far I have gone twice on my first week. I took a class my first day as well as did a half hour on the elliptical. Today I did a half hour on the treadmill and also took another class. It was great! And it feels awesome to work out with my friends! We have a lot of fun!

I'm really looking forward to continuing this journey. I want to share every aspect of this with you all so I thought I'd give you my starting weight from the beginning of December until now.

On December 5th, I weighed about 180 lbs. 

Today, January 17th, I weigh 171 lbs! 

I'm very excited about this! Although its only 9 lbs in a month it still is progress! And this is without very much hard work and I'm still mostly eating what I want, its just about portion control and picking some healthier choices for snacks and such. 

Here's hoping that things continue on such a good note! I'll be sure to write more about my progress. Prom and bikini season here I come!!

Love, Katie

Pledging to Resolve

Hello all, I thought I probably shouldn't leave you guys hanging for another few months :) I should be starting my homework, but I'd like to tell you all about my new years resolution. Last spring, I started running atleast two times a week, and lost a bit of weight. It felt good, but I still wasn't where I wanted to be physically. I've never been a runner and even after doing it for almost 3 months, I still wasn't a fan of it. Anyway, my resolution is to get healthier. I'm going to accomplish this by counting calories and working out. My friends and I are going to join a gym together and hopefully this will motivate me to work out. I've always been decently thin, however I'm a bit curvy and I don't have as flat of a stomach as I would like. I don't usually freak out about my weight or how I look. I do have my moments once in a while. And it would be nice to have this summer be one where I am confident in myself and able to focus on having fun instead of how fat I am. I go back and forth with these things. 

Therefore, I pledge to eat healthier, and work out more. I will avoid fast food whenever possible, and go to the gym at least twice a week. I'm hoping that adding more exercise into my life will get me to where I want to be. Its not about starving myself or working out until I puke, its about implementing a healthier lifestyle before college. I'm looking forward to it :)

My cousin and I this past summer

Until next time,

Katie

Music of the Moment

Hey everyone! So I thought I'd share today my interesting taste in music. I must warn you, I do enjoy some odd music. To each her own, right? 

I recently purchased M83's album Hurry Up, We're Dreaming. And can I just say AWESOME!! It is so great! I had originally found M83 through their most popular song, Midnight City. But this album is amazing! I love their sound and the poetic nature of their lyrics. Most of the time, they let the music talk for them, which is also pretty amazing

.

Can I just say I LOVE SPOTIFY! I've been using it since May and it is the best thing ever when it comes to music. I can listen to whatever I want without having to buy it first. I've been able to listen to all old songs that I don't own but they don't play on the radio. My love for many bands has grown such as Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, and The Black Keys to name a few. I'll have to figure out how to post my playlists on here. I'm sure someone would enjoy them!

Okay, back to another band. This band is not so odd, their music is somewhat simple but super catchy. It's Walk The Moon of course!! The first songs I heard by them were Shiver Shiver and Anna Sun, and it's one of my favorites. Very upbeat with a nice rock feel. I also really like Jenny and I Can Lift a Car. I highly suggest you go and listen to their stuff, I'm sure you would love it. 

Some other honorable mentions include: The Black Keys, Pearl Jam, One Direction( don't even get me started), and The Neighbourhood
Let me know what you think of this post and if I should do more!