With the rise and fall
Of your breath
and I lay awake
in thought
You left your scent
behind on my pillows
And cynical me
wanted to wash it
away for good
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sunshine Brings Better Things
Each day grows warmer, and with it, my smile sticks around for much longer. Warm weather really does bring me so much more happiness. This winter was awful, but I'm vowing to make this spring and summer the best to make up for how 2014 began.
The past few weeks have been good, I'm feeling better about myself every time I leave the gym, and I get comments from my friends noticing how hard I'm working. It feels great, honestly.
Right now my dilemma is boys getting in the way of my goals, school wise. Its so easy to say, yes, I'll hang out with you and not do my homework or get up on time for my class. Sleeping alone is boring, anyway right?
I've taken a step back from my anxieties about my reputation or how I feel about myself to just let myself live. Who cares where it ends? Nobody remembers the nights that they got plenty of sleep. So instead, I've been going out, drinking, smoking, whatever. Just having a good time and feeling things out. Plus, I have so much fun when we go out dancing. No matter what song is playing I'm always dancing.
Now we have the countdown to the end of the semester upon us. The end of my "freshman" first year at college. I'll reflect a little more when its actually over, but when I think about the person I was a year ago, she seems like a smaller version of myself. She was confident yet scared, hopeful yet cynical. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I've arrived anywhere, self wise, but I'm getting there.
I'm ready for top down rides in the jeep to the beach!! Lets do it!!
The past few weeks have been good, I'm feeling better about myself every time I leave the gym, and I get comments from my friends noticing how hard I'm working. It feels great, honestly.
Right now my dilemma is boys getting in the way of my goals, school wise. Its so easy to say, yes, I'll hang out with you and not do my homework or get up on time for my class. Sleeping alone is boring, anyway right?
I've taken a step back from my anxieties about my reputation or how I feel about myself to just let myself live. Who cares where it ends? Nobody remembers the nights that they got plenty of sleep. So instead, I've been going out, drinking, smoking, whatever. Just having a good time and feeling things out. Plus, I have so much fun when we go out dancing. No matter what song is playing I'm always dancing.
Now we have the countdown to the end of the semester upon us. The end of my "freshman" first year at college. I'll reflect a little more when its actually over, but when I think about the person I was a year ago, she seems like a smaller version of myself. She was confident yet scared, hopeful yet cynical. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I've arrived anywhere, self wise, but I'm getting there.
I'm ready for top down rides in the jeep to the beach!! Lets do it!!
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