Quick Turn

Life is so fucking confusing. Found a song that actually captures how I feel.

I feel like we're at a turning point here, either it goes incredibly sour or sweet. I dont want to make any predictions. We'll fucking see.

I love you, and I'm proud of you

I was reading through my old blog posts and I came across a line that I wrote.
"I love you, and I'm proud of you. Say this to others but most importantly say this to yourself."

These words reign true, and I need to hear them right now. I need to care about myself more than I care about you. Care, is that even the right word? Did I ever care for you?

I know for certain you never gave a shit about me. That much is clear now. Don't feel bad about it. I did enough of that these last two weeks.

My life is my own and this is going to become even more true starting now. I am doing everything and you are NOTHING.

The sad part of all this is that I have to tell myself this, it's not something that is inherently known to me. Such is life.

Don't Push

Its hard to see yourself
fall
into the same patterns

but its easier to let yourself
do
instead of
don't

I want the simplicity of us when we looked up at the stars.
My head was in your lap, we could see for miles.
I shouldn't have blinked.
as quickly as you came, you were gone.


more than just something I could measure in tears
heartache for days
wondering
what if?
why?

here we are, now
its like an encore performance of us
and i'm asking for my next line
because I don't have the slightest clue
what it could be

ask me what its like
to fall asleep in his arms
i'll tell you

who needs a pillow
when I have your chest

no idea
how you might feel
if this is all in my head
or if I make you sad

like you do me

its easiest to write about you
in short lines
because i can't shake this inkling
that our time will be short
but you will always leave something behind