There's nothing that I can plan in this life. I can't tell God when to throw the right person my way, the only thing I can do is hope that he knows what I need. I think he does, I mean that's what religion is for right? Faith? So in order for me to have faith, I must sit and wait. I try to think about how long I've been doing that. Its a while. I don't tend to think that my decisions have been mistakes, but now I might be starting to reconsider. What would have happened if I had stayed in that relationship? Would we still be together?
"Be brave." "That was a brave decision to make." "Sometimes you just have to brave through it."
I'm being told to be brave, and yet every day I grow more and more afraid. Its my time to be a big girl, and yet here I am, wanting nothing more than to rest my head on my Dad's shoulder or get a big hug from my Mommy. I am so blessed to love my parents so much and have them love me just the same. I have to be strong. I have to be here and get my degree and learn what I want to be. I have to be here to find myself.
I'm such a big baby. Whatever, I'm allowed to be whatever I want. I do what I have to do to get by.
"Man up. Put your helmet on and get back in the game." - Wise words from my Dad
Hopefully my next post here will be more optimistic. Until next time
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